I love this so much! This is what relationship goals look like--choosing equity within the relationship rather than repeating generational patterns. I felt every word.
I am divorced now, and my ex wanted applause every single time he washed a dish or ran a load of laundry (after I taught him how). It was exhausting. Our house was messy because I worked and went to school full-time, and he worked part-time, and I didn't have the energy to do more (and he wasn't about to do it himself). After my divorce, I partnered someone incapable of making his own sandwiches. Now, I've finally learned that I don't have to choose helpless partners unwilling to do their part. My current partner is an actual grownup who believes in gender equity--hallelujah!
Thanks for challenging this idea of gender roles in the home and for pointing out that your work contribution in the home also includes childcare.