I really enjoy your perspective. I think that I might want to re-marry at some point, but I, too, have been thinking about the parameters of long-term relationships and how to have healthy relationships that aren’t limited by societal expectations. My past relationships haven’t been partnerships in the way that you’re describing, and I’ve longed for that. These relationships ended up in patterns where I was the concierge of the relationship, endlessly providing everything they needed while letting go of the things I needed because the relationship structure didn’t allow for us both to get our needs met. Obviously, I’m no longer in this sort of relationship- or any relationship at all. I’ve decided I’m not settling for anything less than full partnership, which really does require the type of grit and deep communication you speak of here. This is the type of authenticity that matters beyond what anyone else thinks because we’re talking life, love, and commitment on a deeply personal (and individual) level. Thanks for writing this! I really enjoyed it and found it deeply resonant.

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