I Will Find Immeasurable Joy
I will find immeasurable joy
In the smallest things
How the light from the sun
Warms my face when I’m walking
How the wind touches my skin
Lightly, with no demands
The strength in my body
As I run one more mile
Than I thought I could
The calm, beautiful breath
I draw in as I move
The colors of wildflowers
Blooming along the roadside
And the way the elderly gentleman
Smiles politely at me as I move by
Or the way the dog walker stops
And gives me a moment
To pat the head of
The happiest dog I’ve ever seen
The quiet scratch of the needle
On a record that I love
My body moving in slow circles
As I dance in an empty room
My children’s faces
When they first wake up
Those sleepy smiles and warm hugs
And how the cinnamon rolls taste
Hot and sweet in my mouth
Contrasting with the coffee I made
From freshly ground beans
I will find joy in every part of the life
I live without you in it
And I will let go of the ache
That used to be the absence
I felt as keenly as I once felt your presence
I will stop feeling so damn sorry
For you for choosing anything else
My gladness will spill over instead
Into gratitude that this is my life
I will inhale joy and love and compassion
And exhale regret and disappointment
I will breathe in forgiveness
And exhale a planned future
Never meant for me
I will revel in the beauty
That is this life
And I will wish you joy
In whatever life you’re choosing now.
