Debunking The Hot Crazy Matrix

Crystal Jackson
8 min readOct 21, 2018
Photo by Chema Photo on Unsplash

First of all, let me just start by saying what-the-actual-holy-hell is this? A friend of mine brought the Hot Crazy Matrix to my attention, and it was so jaw-dropping that I had to interrupt what she was saying and ask her to repeat it all again in case I misunderstood. Then I had to Google it. And take a quiz. And watch a video. This is an idea developed by a man for men, to try to understand women.

Developed by Dana McLendon

Let’s break down how this graph works. Apparently, the Crazy Axis starts at 4 because all women are at least a 4 in crazy, says Dana McLendon. The Hot Crazy Line intersects this graph diagonally. As you’ll see, he assumes that women who aren’t a hot level 5 shouldn’t be dated or married and their level of craziness doesn’t even matter.

To clarify, he’s starting right out the gate saying that (a) all women are crazy and (b) women who aren’t “hot” by his definition don’t deserve relationships.

This scale completely ignores the fact that attraction is entirely subjection, but let’s continue. From 5 to 8 and below the crazy line, you get the Fun Zone women, and then, of course, there’s the Danger Zone. He lists some specific dangers: redheads, women named Tiffany, strippers, and hairdressers.

But women don’t, apparently, stay conveniently in the box that he’s created for them. Apparently, we can be anywhere on this chart at any time, and the men should collect data over time to determine where we belong.

Because, again, men get to determine where we belong and who we are.

Then, there’s a whole zone for dating and a whole zone for marriage and long-term relationships. This is the end game. From 5–7 level of craziness and from 8–10 hot is what all men should be looking for according to McLendon.

If someone is above an 8 for hot but below a 5 for crazy, you’ve got yourself a unicorn. Never mind that a unicorn is already a term coined to describe a bisexual woman who wants to be with both a man and a woman in a…