i love you is the refrain running through my head. only I don’t sing the words. because i know empty words are dead. when all you brought was pain. with everything you said. every promise heard. every time i hear your name. i love you can never. ever. feel the same.
i was strong enough to leave and strong enough to break. strong enough to give you nothing else that you could take. and strong enough to know my heart can love and still let go. strong enough to carry on and never stop this show.
i will love you in the space between one thought and another. between the hat i wear as writer and the one i wear as mother. and i will hold you in that space so small and wish a different ending. all the while knowing that my love was yours for spending. and knowing now that it is spent and all that’s left is this: a memory i hold so tight that i forget what it is i miss.