Not All Masculinity is Fragile: How to Tell if Yours Might be Precious

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Sometimes I feel as though the trolls seek me out. I’m clearly a feminist. It says so on almost every bio or profile I possess because it’s as essential to me as my blue eyes or short stature. It’s who I am. Recently, a troll in the disguise of a reader visited my page to comment on a post related to fragile masculinity. The post, in summary, basically said: not all men, but women too, and to play devil’s advocate for a moment. My eyes rolled so hard they nearly got stuck there.

Of course, eye rolling and a hard side eye aside, I have no problem educating men who genuinely want to better understand feminism and current social issues. I’ve even had men approach me privately to ask why these statements are a problem. While it’s not my job as a woman or a feminist to educate others, I will happily take the time to explain it if it will help bridge a divide between genders and help further the cause of feminism while dismantling the patriarchy.

But when someone disguises themselves as a reader just to heckle me, no, I don’t have an obligation to be nice or to explain something to someone with no interest in truly understanding the issue. At this point, I reserve the right to block anyone who trolls me or my page in order to sow discord. I don’t have to respond to comments or take anything they say to heart.

But I would like to clarify, for those men and women who actually want to understand, when masculinity is fragile- and when it’s not. Not all men have fragile masculinity. But I can guarantee that if you’ve trolled someone’s page with any of the aforementioned phrases, you are one of the ones that do.

If you are unable to hear a story about a gender issue without leaping to the defense of the man involved (playing devil’s advocate, for instance), you might have fragile masculinity.

If you respond to any criticism of men with not all men or women too, you might have fragile masculinity.

If you responded to a woman’s #metoo statement with men too, you might have fragile masculinity.

If you have a problem with boys wearing pink or participating in activities that you view as being for girls, you might have fragile masculinity.