Perhaps you should read for understanding rather than to respond: “How they treated us was a reflection of their own journey and their own growth experience. It had nothing to do with our worthiness or value or any other quality.” I’m all for a personal growth mindset, but I don’t go for victim blaming. The fallacy is the attitude that if my treatment was awful, I’m the common denominator or “problem.” But that philosophy ignores the fact that correlation doesn’t show causation. Just because I was mistreated doesn’t mean that my own behavior caused it. That ignores the variety of factors that can contribute to toxic relationships like immaturity, negligence, and poor communication skills. But there’s nothing like a man piping up to defend some man he doesn’t know in classic mansplaining fashion. You might want to examine why you reacted this way. You’re so sure that I, a total stranger to you, am the problem but this random man you also don’t know must be just fine. Food for thought there.

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