The Hidden Perk of the Single Life
Being single has a few clear and obvious disadvantages. For starters, when I have a tough day, there’s no one to lean on. There’s only me, standing tall or falling down all by myself. As a single parent, the disadvantages are immediate. All the weight of being a parent falls on me, and even the beautiful, wonderful aspects of parenting aren’t something that I share with someone else while they’re happening.
But I think we often forget that there are innumerable benefits to being single, and one of these perks is often overlooked.
It’s easy to see how it could be overlooked when coupled people assume they don’t need it or don’t want it, and many single people either take it for granted or overlook it on the hunt to become part of a couple. It’s not a thing that most people find is an adequate replacement for a relationship, and yet it shouldn’t be altogether discounted either.
It’s self-possession.
The first time I discovered a true feeling of self-possession I was day-tripping in the nearby town of Macon, Georgia. When I have free time, I like to pick a point of interest and go check it out. It doesn’t need to be a tourist destination, although I like those, too. It just needs to have a special draw. I had aimed myself at Juliette, Georgia, the home of the town where Fried Green Tomatoes was filmed and where you can still find the Whistle Stop Cafe. I didn’t know that the town itself didn’t even open until nearly lunchtime so I made my way over to Macon and ended up at a historic cemetery in town.
If you think a cemetery is an odd spot to stumble over one’s self-possession, you’re not wrong. But I like out of the way places and scenic spots. It overlooks a river, and there are all kinds of old stairs and walls and walkways that just call out to me. Figuratively, of course. Besides, I enjoy a nice, long walk. So off I went walking on a beautiful sunny day with nothing but a picnic blanket I keep in my car and my latest acquisition from the local library. I spent the morning walking, reading, and finding out of the way places just to sit and soak in the surroundings.
I was content. I felt wholly at peace, happy with my life even though it was nothing like what I had planned. The ink had barely dried on my final divorce decree, and I still…