Wow. Ok, so much to unpack. I find reciprocity romantic. Equality, effort. Also, women were the primary consumers of Fifty Shades, which was wildly successful. However, it does depict an abusive relationship and not an actual BDSM arrangement. Had she researched that community, it would have been written very differently.

Romance is about being thoughtful, not appeasing someone. And no woman I know would appreciate being the princess or damsel. Expecting effort and reciprocity is just a bare minimum for romantic relationships.